One for All and All for One

After having a rough weekend (psych stuff), something good happened.

I had a fight with T about six months ago...she had been one of the best friends I've ever had...and we didn't talk for a long time.  After the fight is when I started having more severe issues with my depression and OCD (still am but whatever).  I missed her terribly and every day I'd think about her and wonder if she was okay etc...

She and C (my other BF from our Anime club) didn't know that whenever I was feeling horrible (in any way) I would relive all the cool things we did together...random trips, doll related craziness, those heart-to-hearts etc.  Those are the moments, in my opinion, that make life worth living :)  Friends make life sweet even when it's bitter.

But...it's hard for everyone to be a good friend...autism or not.  I finally told T about it...she said "I'm sorry" but I told her not to say that because it's nothing bad (even though I'm still trying to convince myself of that).  I'm still learning the ropes, but I don't feel as lost as I have over the past twenty years...

Anyway, she said it was okay.  And I've learned over the past six months that healing is a process, often a long and sorrowful one...but then you come to the end and you think "Damn, it was worth it."

And now the two people I love the most know my secret.

Damn, it was worth it.

I haven't been around in a while...I don't usually post to this thing...plus I seriously hate this wireless keyboard.

Doll stuff: I sucessfully sold Sakura and got Nuri...however her stringing is an utter disaster so I'm redoing it...but I need elastic and I don't know what to get!  I'm also going to redo her faceup as it's so faded and dirty...and I think I need to add some purple hues to it.  Tillie is Tillie...nothing new there.  But I'm thinking of selling Sadako...

After some personal stuff happened I didn't touch my dolls for like...two months.  Especially Sadako.  Now she just sits lifeless on my shelf staring at me like "Mom, I understand".  She was my first doll...but I'm also realizing that I like the tinies much better...the portability and so forth...not to mention I just like tiny things in general (You should have seen me at the store when I saw the Piccolini pasta)  So I'm toseed up on that...not to mention I have to photograph her alone and there are only so many things I can do with that.

Medical stuff

Nothing all that exciting in this department...my Dysautonomia is FINALLY under control...I haven't passed out since early May :)  I finally have a normal body temp and heart rate as well...I'm so thrilled about this!

I'm having more and more problems with my spine though...it's too loose and is now twisting so that my ribs stick outward on the left side and dislocate frequently...in some positions they slide in and out while i breathe :(  The worst part: There is nothing that can be done...A therapy place is offering me use of their pool since my insurance coverage for therapy ran out which is very nice of them.  I got a prescription for a new manaual wheelchair which will hopefully make getting around campus easier.

My psych therapy ran out too so I have to hold off seeing the autism specialist...or call her to make an arrangement.  I need to get this done so I can begin whatever therapy is needed for that (mostly sensory integration therapy and social skills training) because I'm finding out the hard way that making it socially in college is REALLY FREAKING HARD.  I've been making people mad at me without knowing why and if I say that I don't understand they get pissed off more.

Very few people at school know I have Asperger's.  Most people would think I'm just making it up.  That's why when all that stupid stuff happened in late October and February I didn't say anything.  But my psych told me I need to start talking.  It's sad because he told me that I should just be friends with people on the spectrum...but I want SO MUCH MORE than that.  I deserve more than that.

Other Randomness

I'm taking cake decorating classes (my mom's my teacher) which are pretty cool.  I learned how to paint on fondant.  Fondant is basically edible clay that you can make statues out of and cover cakes with.  Hopefully this will help me when I make my cake for Baka's Halloween party in October. (I still have to decide if I want to go or not).

I finally have my library work evaluation set up.  I'll be working in the library for a total of 40 hours.  The coach is going to see if I can do the job...how I need to schedule things and work around my disabilities and stuff.  I elected to mostly work with the computers since I love them so much :D

My dachshund has been barking more and more...he makes the cutest noises!  My parents call him the Tazmanian Devil...he likes to bite George's legs and ears which makes him very angry (George).

i went out with Mike last night and ran into Arthur...it was nice to see them again.  Arthur will be living down the hall from me this semster which is exciting...

I suppose that's it...I hope everyone is well.

 

Appetizer

When you drink soda/pop/coke, do you prefer to drink it from the bottle, a can, or after pouring it into a cup?

In a cup with a straw...

Soup

What television show are you willing to stay up late to watch?

I stay up to watch Golden Girls, Hannah Montana and Strong Medicine when it was on.

Salad

Name one person, place, or thing you think of as brilliant.

I think mailboxes are brilliant...seriously...can you imagine if your mail and crap was just blowing all over the street...or if you had to go pick it up at the post office?

Main Course

Would you be willing to work 4 10-hour days instead of 5 8-hour days in order to save gas?

Hellz no.

Dessert

If you were a superhero, what would you call yourself

Kick Ass Girl :D

Fri